Tuesday, 10/Nov/2009

Disappointed with your life? Manipulate someone else's!

I don't like getting personal on I.F. updates unless I'm observing stupid and the consequences of living in a world of stupid. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to do that because a number of people have made it a personal mission to irritate me and I can only take so much of it before I want to terminate someone like they're a GrIMP in the original Final Fantasy.

When I make personal decisions, I base them entirely on if that decision works best for me out of all other possibilities. Usually if someone else is involved in the decision I'll discuss it with them and we'll eventually come up with a plan of attack. What I don't base my decisions on is what random strangers and acquaintances think as if just because something didn't work for them. When I want feedback, I ask for it. But some things I just don't want feedback on because I don't care. That's unfortunate that your marriage failed. I don't know what could've possibly happened. I mean, it's totally asinine to think that a relationship based on complacency could ever fail. Yes, that's ridiculous. And when I say "ridiculous" what I'm really saying is "you must be on dog food" (courtesy of Will Smith) because I've taken pisses with more deductive reasoning than these people.

What bothers me about people like this is that they think they're doing a service to the community by telling someone younger than them about LYFE LOL!!! and trying to impart wisdom while you see beer bottles and hookers with moustaches fall out of their hasn't-been-cleaned-since-prom-night SUV which smells like a cross between unbathed dog and fecal sewage. Their lives are clearly falling apart and they have the audacity to tell people what to do and what not to do. And I'd be willing to accept the whole "learning from their mistakes" argument if they took some of their own medicine and stopped beating it to Giada De Laurentiis. You're never going to get to live that fantasy where you stick your penis in between her breasts and nobody's ever going to listen to you.

I have a problem where people look at me and see I'm young and think it's an invitation to share with me the mysteries of life as if empirical observation and a basic comprehension of cause and effect couldn't save me the time of listening to someone's epiphany about body hair and v-neck shirts. If you really want to help me, give me the $3 I need to pay your mom and go to sleep. The last thing I want to do is listen to someone and end up miserable and horny like them.